“Failure is success in progress - Albert Einstein”. So many smart quotes on this topic but when you feel the frustration of a flop, it’s hard to be smart.
It’s Saturday today, 6 days since I raced in Marseille. A French HC race, a high-level race, where there is no space for mistakes and bad decisions. I wasn’t quite satisfied with my racing. As soon as I got my breath back after the finish line I wanted to do all over again. Get a second chance (Wish I could unrace youuuu' >.<).  I made mistakes and I wasn't smart in my racing. I knew it as it happened, but turning a bad start around requires more from you than just good legs. ​

The focus started with a rest week. Resetting and recharging the Malene-Battery.
That sounds all well-balanced and thought through. And it is. But there is still this small little mean voice in me being like; ‘Really Malene? That was not a good race from you - You really think you got this?’. My first answer is always the insecure Malene ‘mm.. maybe.. maybe not? ah.. goddammit I don’t know’, then comes my smarter part saying that; 'I need to calm the F*** down and trust what I’m doing, failure is a part of the game’. ​

​Let’s go 7 days back in time. Because 7 days before I discovered this, I was racing in Chelva, and beside of Racing I also had an over-the-bar crash which caused pain in my shoulder, hip and knee. The impact had been pretty rough but it wasn’t too bad, and I could still ride and go to the gym.. So that was what I did the following week. If I could feel the impact from the crash? sure! Did it stop me? nah not really. Who wants to stop when the rest of the body is feeling great? Definitely not a motivated athlete. 
​But this afternoon the pain wasn’t just on the skin, it was more inside. So I did what I always do. Freak out a little and ask google. Google told me that we have a tendon called the patellar tendon just below the knee cap. A tendon is a fibrous band of tissue that connects bone and muscle. Our tendons have a tolerance level (which we make stronger with training) and if we overdo it we simply put on overload on the tendon - which can cause a problem. 

​So I took a long inhale-exhale and looked back at my training week. Okay, so I 1) crashed on my knee 2) I felt strong 3) I pushed hard on the bike and in the gym, adding an extra session myself. A combination of these 3 factors was what I estimated as my reason for this overload. Google said that; “Basically any unexpected loading on the tendon can trigger a reaction and subsequently the tendon can thicken in an attempt to handle the stress of training. At this time an athlete may experience pain as well as a small amount of swelling around the tendon.”  

​I slept badly that night. When I woke the next day the first thing I did was feeling my knee. Damn, still painful. I do believe in the effect of a placebo and as I called with my boyfriend he also reminded me to get my mind off my knee. You see, from the moment I realized something was wrong - I could feel it all the time. 

​I had planned to climb a big mountain that Sunday but I changed my plans and instead went to the climbs close by (so I could get back home in no time). And actually, my knee felt okay doing the ride. But after two hours I had to admit that it wasn’t all good. So I turned around and finally texted my coach. I know it might sound silly, but I kinda wanted to hide it, mostly for myself. Because when you first say the words out loud, then it sounds so real. And did I actually have an injury?
​Now I had addressed my problem and admitted it to myself. So my next move was reaching out to a physiotherapist I know down here, Xavi Fisiat, I told him that…., ‘Houston we got a problem’. 
​Monday morning I was getting my first treatment. My quad was very tight so he made it relax and used the machine Iniba to speed the recovery process up. When I afterwards was spinning the legs, there was absolutely no pain. Which was a good sign - if I can release the tension, the pain disappears.

​My coach made a plan for the following week. No intervals that would put fast/high power on the tendon - I was going back to a week with slow endurance and rest. On Tuesday it was still a bit swollen, but not warm anymore, I went for a spin again and I also went to the gym, to do some exercises. Because the tendon needs to be used in the right way in order to fix it. The weight in the gym is not the problem it's the speed. I also did a 20-30min session daily with some yoga, mobility and stretching with a focus on the lower back, hip and quad. Wednesday was easy again plus the second treatment. The second treatment was acupuncture and Iniba. Plus some more exercises to activate the tendon in a good way. Slow movements. 

​When Thursday came I felt good. What a relief. I met with two of my training mates; Tommi Misser and David, and we rode together. The ride developed into a 4-hour ride with 2000 altitude meter and lots of fun. I knew that it wasn’t the smartest move, but it was the funniest — and it made me happy. And that counts for something. On Thursday afternoon and Friday I did what I could to make the best restitution possible. And the outcome was good, no increase of pain. I continued with me mobility sessions and the compex to make my body work better. 
​After one week there was still soreness in the area when I touched it, but no longer pain that affected my training on the bike. So with a mix of treatments, fast decisions, self-trust, good nutrition, and a modified gym plan I came out of the week all good. 

So maybe 
- Be honest with yourself
- Get help
- Seek knowledge
- Eat foods there is rich of Omega-3, Vitamins, and anti-inflammatory foods. 
- Try to think about something else
- Learn from it
- Write a diary on your activities + feelings 

But best is to not get there in first place haha :-) 

If you find this interesting - then go to my Instagram and find my IGTV. I uploaded a video to give you some inspiration! 

Last week was out of my comfort zone in many ways. First of all, I was on two start-lines (Banyoles + Chelva). Not that start-lines are strangers to me in general. But to be lining up at the opening cross-country races of the year after almost half a year without, in my new kit, with a new crew, new-everything basically, was definitely a comfort zone challenge. There is something calm and simple about the winter time, it’s almost easy so to say. The training schedule isn’t, but I don’t have to perform, at least not in front of anyone, besides me and my coach. But eventually, you stand there. First row. All eyes on you. Or that’s how it feels, those last 15 seconds before the gun goes off. Before you know it you are in the middle of what’s going to be 90 minutes of battling for your spot, fighting with all you got and let the legs speak for them self. 

​The race evolved fast to a battle of the last podium spot. British Annie Last and German Elisabeth Brandu were gone in the front, and back with me were French Leona Lecomte and Tanja a little minute behind us. Racing cross country is so demanding and it takes a lot. I felt my lack of freshness when the last part of the race began, the recovery time between the efforts simply got longer and longer. I had to let go of Lecomte and I saw Tanja coming closer from behind. I think she was as close as 10 seconds behind me, when we entered the last lap. And then I remembered something. “You're strong Malene. If she can close this gap to you she will believe that she is stronger than you. And is that true? No, you’re strong M”. And so I continued to repeat in my head on the last lap, and when I came to the finish line the gap down to 5th was bigger again. Was I strong enough to win the fight? Most definitely. 

​The following week was a camp in Chelva with the team and I was determined to have more courage for the second race. If you followed along with my daily updates on my IG story you got an impression of what was happening. The week was all about the team, riding together, have long dinners together, drink coffee’s and test the equipment. A great week.