I’m my own worst enemy.

Your inner fighter has to be the strongest when reality play out in a different direction than your expectations.

I had my first cross-country race of the 2018 season 7 months ago. Around noon on the 4th of March, I was standing on a startline on Cyprus waiting for the gun to go off. 7 month later I’m once again on a start line, this time in Lenzerheide for the World Championship. I closed my eyes before the start, just like I did on Cyprus; Breath in, breath out.
Before my first race, I thought about the upcoming pain, and how I was ready to handle it. I thought about having courage, I wasn’t scared of my competitors, I had nothing to lose. Before my last race, my brain was different when I closed my eyes. I thought about the season, my second place in the overall world cup, I thought about the dream of medals, I thought about Sina’s 6 wins, about failing in La Bresse, 

about ending this race with a medal around my neck and how everybody excepted me to do that. Or at least I did. I had suddenly something to lose. Cause over the last 7 months so much had happened. I couldn’t stand on the start line with the exact same mindset. ​Since Cyprus, I have been standing on 10 podiums and delivered a good performance over and over again. The season has been crazy. Crazy good. I’m so thankful for all the people around me who got me to this point. ​Thankful that they believed in the idea as much as I did. 

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I took another sip from my bottle and found a focus point in front of me. The screen said 1 lap to go and my mind was more busy than normal. The disappointment was already soaking in. I wasn’t riding for the medals, but in 8th spot with yet another girl catching my wheel. As we entered the climb for the last time I looked inside and tried to find the strength to fight for this position.
The fire in the legs started to burn once again but somehow I let go of the busy mind and found the strength to dig deep, get away, and hold on to that 8th spot. I mean 8th in the end isn’t bad. But I was a bit blown away. It’s silly how big influence our mindset have on us. Our willing to suffer and fight, and our general feeling of our effort. We are our own worst enemies. ​

Let me sum up my 2018 result for you.
3. Cyprus SunShine Cup xco
1. UCI World Cup Stellenbosch
13. Bundesliga Heubach
3. UCI World Cup Albstadt
2. UCI World Cup Nove Mesto
1. Borlänge Tour
2. Danish National Championship
3. UCI World Cup Val di Sole
3. UCI World Cup Andorra
2. European Championship Team Relay
3. UCI World Cup Mont Saint Anne
6. UCI World Cup La Bresse
2. Overall UCI World Cup
8. UCI World Championship
3. UCI World Championship Team Relay

What a successful season. So proud of these achievements! I trained so much for this. And I trained my mind to be able to perform on that level, that’s also why it was with a flat feeling I closed the season. It wasn’t my level. Nevertheless, when I look back at these achievements it’s easier to let go of my race in Lenzerheide and feel the proud, warm, stream going through my body. In addition to my own triumphs, I was also a part of two bronze medals at Europeans and World Champs with the Danish national team in the team relays. ​

Nothing of this could have been done without my village; My cycling team Ghost Factory Racing and all of our sponsors, my home team including, mum & dad, friends, family, boyfriend, Coach Benjamin, national coach Mads B, adviser Bo Falck, Holte mtb, trainingpartners, icaremassage, and so many more.

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Now it’s just about letting my body recover with some time off. I need to work on my enemy and turn these feelings into a new bowl of motivation - a motivation that will help me do what it takes to be a part of the top of cross-country racing. And it takes a lot.
But I’m super excited to dig in and start this new journey, fighting against my idols, as I move up to the elite category.

xoxo
​Malene