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Defeating fears

3/15/2018

“You defeated South Africa Malene” - Grandma’s first text after my world cup win. I opened it as I sat at the doping control and I got tears in my eyes. She was so right. I really did.

A quote that has been hunting me, while I have been away for my first block of racing, said;
“It’s impossible - said doubt
it’s dangerous - said fear
It’s not necessary - said sense
Do it anyway - whispered the heart”

Those sentences have been running through my mind. Because I have overcome two barriers the last weeks. The first, is my everlasting fear before race season starts - Am I good enough yet? The self-doubting. I wrote some sentences down before the race on Cyprus; I wasn’t afraid of the future, but I was afraid of the past repeating itself. What if I didn’t improve since last year, all the hard work - will it soon pay off? Somehow I managed to convince myself that I might not be their yet, but I’m closer. And with that mindset, I rolled over the finish line in 3rd position at my first race of the season, a C1 on Cyprus, behind two very respected riders. Okay, I’m definitely closer. Leaving to South Africa was my next barrier of fear.

They say that the fears we don’t face become our limits.

Coming back to SA after three years without was certainly with mixed feelings. Last time I left the place I left with the worst experience of my life. Even after 2 weeks down here now, I’m still aware of everything that happens around me - I guess the brain is smarter than we think.
We arrived Monday, 5 days before the race, with the Team and got settled in our house. A really nice place in a Golf Estate with top security. Sina and I teamed up in a room and after one night of fighting for the sheet we became all good roommates :-) Haha, no the new team is suiting me well, and I’m really happy to take part in it. Especially in this World Cup week they were amazing and made my head focus on the importance. Tuesday Lisa, Barbara and I went to the new track to check it out. It was not officially open, so there were a few parts we couldn’t ride. But this was a big a day for me. As we entered the course I took a big breath, and just thought about “Inhale courage - exhale fear”.

Because back in 2015 I was assaulted on a course-practice in South Africa.
Together with the National Team, we were on a race/training camp down here. It was a race close to Johannesburg, where we went to check out some lines two days before the race. The story got viral in Denmark and was all over the Danish news, “Danish mountain bike girl assaulted in South Africa”. But besides that it was not really a public known story in the mountain-bike world - I guess because that just happens to people here..? And I didn’t tell the story myself.
But as we rode the track a gap between me and the boys in front got bigger and half through the lap only me and the national coach, Mads, were left together. Mads needed to pump some more air in his tire so he stopped and I just slowly continued around the next few corners, waiting for him to come back. As I rode into the next section of the course with some corners in a tight forest two men came from my right side and stopped me. One took the bike, one took me. This is not a story for the faint-hearted and as I don’t know everyone

They say that the fears we don’t face become our limits.

who opens my blog and read I will leave out the cruel details and let you guys know the ending. Mads saved my life by shouting and yelling the craziest I have ever heard and probably also what the two men had, at least they got so scared that they ran. And I ran.
When Mads and I found each other again one of the first things he did was giving me the phone with the psychologist from Team Denmark on the line. So the first one I actually really spoke to was someone who knew a way to handle it. I’m forever thankful to the whole national team and Mads for their way of handling the situation. The day after me and Mads came back to the place where, I at least think, it happened. The brain is really smart when we go into survival mode - you don’t recognize unnecessary information, like where you are. We shouted all the things out. And the next day I did the race as planned.

So inhale courage - exhale fear.

Coming back to the present and the 2018 World Cup opener.
As we rode around on the track I tried to stay occupied with the normal talk of line choices and so on. Day after day I got more and more familiar with the place and the track. And when race day came close I was ready :-)

On the start line for the World Cup, the “It’s impossible - said doubt” came by - I pushed it away. Not it’s not, I belong in the top.
Looking out in forest “It’s dangerous - said fear” - I pushed it away. Not it’s not dangerous here Malene.
“It’s not necessary - said sense” - I pushed it away. Yes it is.
“Do it anyway - whispered my heart” - I let that one stay.

And as the start-gun shot and the legs started to burn it was just about racing and nothing else. And I felt really good. After 2 laps I found myself in the lead with a little gap down to second and

third, Sina and Evie. It felt so cool riding through the feed zone seeing Tom and Uwe cheering me on and Mads giving me some motivational danish words. Everything went pretty smooth for me, I could push myself and focus on the tasks. And when I crossed the finish line before the last lap I knew I just had to get home safe, don't overdo it now. My teammate Sina was behind me in the second position, it motivated me so much to know that our team was having one of those really good days. Crossing the finish line with my arms over my head was one of the craziest feelings I had for a while. Shit. I did it. My work did pay off.

I overcame those fears and got it all together. And I even bring the white leader jersey with me home. Going to be a different call-up in Albstadt, as I will roll out there as the first one, but I guess the task doesn’t change? Get from A to B as fast as Malene possible can.

I defeated South Africa

/Malene

P.S. A huge thanks to everybody involved in this journey and Saturday’s victory.
Ghost Factory Racing Team
- And all our sponsors, Sram, Tune, Sponser, Sigma, Esi-grips, North Wave, Cratoni, Ceramic-speed, Schwalbe, Pepi’s Tire Noodle, GSG, Adidas Eyewear, Crankbrothers, Cyprus Sun Shine Cup
Diæt Piloten
- Anne Louise
Icaremassage Lyngby
- Torben Honore
And all my family, friends and boyfriend

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How bout' them social media filters?

3/2/2018

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So I was laying on the massage table getting a treatment after a day in the saddle, when our team physio asked me - “Malene, What is your aspiration with your Instagram account?”*

“Just being Malene and share my life, to inspire and let people follow what I’m up to”
Our physio looked at me sceptically. There were more doubtful questions on its way.
So we had a discussion about what social media is, it’s powers and fouls - which got me here, on my laptop wanting to take the discussion on my blog. Because how many thoughts do I actually have behind my accounts?

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So how are you on Instagram, when it’s your personal account, where you share pictures from your daily life as a 21y/o girl trying to figure out life - while you in the meantime is riding bikes as fast as possible, for a living, with sponsors that expects you to use your platform for promoting?

Social Media is huge in our generation. And when I talk social media - I mostly talk Instagram. I mean there are other platforms, youtube, facebook, snapchat, twitter etc. but in my eyes, IG is the biggest. Biggest as the app we spend the most time on (alongside with maybe TrainingPeaks, for the training-freaks like me ;-) ). Beside the time we spend their its also contains so much diversity. It’s for everyone. The student who posts about nightlife and studying, the employee who posts about long days in the office, the vegan who spreads the word about their plant-based lifestyle, World-leaders, body-builders, Victoria Secret models, Barista’s, Athletes and I could go on. Which therefore makes the platform one of the best places for business - cause you so easily can reach a LOT of people, and not only the ones who buy’s a certain magazine and see’s an add, but everyone with the app installed.
So how are you on Instagram, when it’s your personal account, where you share pictures from

your daily life as a 21y/o girl trying to figure out life - while you in the meantime is riding bikes as fast as possible, for a living, with sponsors that expects you to use your platform for promoting? I mean your Instagram is suddenly also a part of your job.

Over 28.000 are following my Instagram, thats a bit. And as my physio asked - how many thoughts do I have behind my posts when I know all these people are seeing them, and it might effect them..? To be honest. Not that much. I’m just Malene. I don’t really know what else to answer. I’m not afraid to show who I am. I learned an old theory about identity in school. That we have our Super Ego (the ideal, norm, conscious) - Ego (our understanding of ourself) - ID (unconscious) and I guess it's our conscious/aware Super Ego's that drives our public figures. So I guess we're all having some kind of thoughts behind our screens?

Instagram accounts are quick to show the good life. The sweet life. And as an athlete, the good life is travelling, training under the blue sky, eating healthy, improving and achieving. This was a topic we kept on coming back to on the massage table - the filtered life, #fliterneeded vs. #nofilterneeded. Because as long as we can choose what pictures we post we are filtered. I don’t see this as an issue as long as everybody is aware. Aware of the fact that we choose what we upload and therefore we’re deselecting some things.
But as he said, in the time we're living in, filtered information is a huge problem, not just on IG but in our society and politics. What is so true. So I guess I can only advice to be aware of these filters.

Which brings me to the point, that there is so much more behind an Instagram feed. Malene is so much more than Malene_Degn’s selection of pictures. Don’t use the Instagram’s you follow to compare yourself - appreciate who you are, our human worth is not measured in likes or followers - it’s our ability to love, care, fail, rise, learn and so much more. I use IG to share, follow, laugh and get inspired to live life the fullest.

So what do I not show?
Hmm. I think I'm always honest in my feed and in my stories, showing clips from my life and who, I at least think, I am. But there is many things I don't show, like a lot of "normal human things", last week I was spending a good amount of time with Cyprus doctors trying to get some antibiotics for an infection I had. That I didn't show ex. Now I do, oh well :-) But don’t get fooled to think that it’s always wonderful to ride for hours every day, live most of the year in a suitcase, skipping a lot of social-life and have your body as your job. It’s not always easy. But I do it because cycling brings more good things than bad (and much more). And all practical - it’s not easy to take a picture while your suffering in an interval - but way easier when you’re having a coffee stop afterwards.
Let me show you some examples. When I’m out riding or whatever we/I often take photo’s and I choose the ones where I don't look the 'silliest' on or the one with the nicest sky etc. And then I add a filter to give them a nicer more clean look. I got sunburned this week on my hands ex. and they look so horrible now hah! It really hurts. I didn’t share this pic with you guys. I guess it’s always a balance?

Coming back to what and why social media, I will say, I don’t use social media to impress - but to impact. I hope it can inspire other people to do what they love and allowing themselves to have dreams and be who they are. I’m a professional mountain biker but I’m also just 21 years old danish girl who loves to go out with my friends, dance, talk, kiss my boyfriend, go to the beach in my new swimsuit and all these things. But surprise surprise I'm also; getting stupid sunburns, pretty messy, not a big fan of showers, turning into a tomato-head speaking to more than 2 people, struggling with saving legs, insecure at times, having smelly cycling shoes, farting (stomaaaaach proooblem) and so much more … I'm not trying to show perfection. It’s not to be miss perfect, nobody is perfect and it’s your own power(responsibility) to know this and know how amazing, important and brave you are - know your worth and add tax :-)

I really like social media and I hope you are in here reading this, because you like to follow me for being me :-)

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Defeating fears

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