Category: Mindset

Dear offseason

9/13/2019

you are welcomed with open arms.
the 2019 race season had some crazy highs and some deep lows.
a whirlwind of a season.
both physical and emotional.

I think I should start thanking the people in my corner. You know who you are, family, friends, boyfriend, team keo, the danish squad, Barcelona people, coach, sponsors... It takes plenty of people to help an athlete on a high level. I'm very thankful.
If you are interested in some insight on my World Cup season recap you can read the previous story.
If you stay here; let’s dig into the offseason thoughts

What now?

I wanna breathe for a moment. You know that long exhale that empties the lungs fully from air. Air with frustration and a hint of relief. I have felt a bit captured in a strange state of my body most of the season. After exhaling I wanna inhale fresh air full of freedom and hope. Full of the excitement of what’s to come.
But before the dreams of the future sets in it’s important, for me, to take a step back and check on myself before I just jump straight into a ‘new year - new me’ mode. It can be quite easy to hide emotions behind fancy Instagram filters. But feelings are here. I have tried to be honest and share my thoughts with you guys throughout my injury. Which I have received lots of positive response too. It feels good to be a part of what can make other people feel less alone. But no matter how much I wanna share, I also have a certain filter on myself. Which I think is completely okay.

As much as I like to share, as much do I like to work on things for myself with myself. And now I anyway sit here and write about it?
What I wanted to say was actually just that as much as I’m setting goals, chasing dreams and in general living a ‘fast life’, I also sometimes gotta sit down and reflect a little. What good decisions did I make this season - and which ones were bad? Can I learn from it? I’m not a machine, just a human who tends to ride a bike fast.
A season with struggles definitely teach you some things. Fx who’s in your corner, even in the bad times. So to you - Thanks for keep on following my life and my writes, even when it’s not all glory and happy days - I love that I have made myself a follower group that cares and are interested in me as a human, not only as someone winning the bike-life. Thanks for being here :-)

What’s next?

The plan is to get back to Denmark and reconnect with family and friends first of all. It can be hard to keep updated on my friend's lives when I’m on the road, so in the autumn I always look forward to reconnecting with them. My friends are the best tho. We can have minimum contact for months and then I see them and it feels like yesterday.

Besides that, I will focus a bit on planing my Olympic dream. I will combine my trip to Denmark with some home races and then finish the month with a trip to Japan. Where I will go with a danish team to test out the Olympic track for 2020.

I think it’s the first time I write it down here. But my biggest goal of 2020 is qualifying for the Olympics.

But as I said. It’s important for me to take one step at the time. First I reflect and then I can start chasing dreams.

/Malene

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Everything is temporary

7/22/2019

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Time heals everything, they say.
Time heals hearts.
Time heals minds.
Time heals wounds.
Bad times don’t last.

Rebuild

A synonym to heal is to rebuild. I’m not sure why, but I like that term more. There’s more positivity attached to the word rebuild. Building something sounds good. But what am I building? First I thought I was rebuilding my shape to compete in Les Gets. Then the week of Les Gets began and I wasn’t really ready to ‘compete’. I mean I was there. But actually competing? Not so much.

My mind was ready to go and I was full of fire, but it felt like my body and brain wasn’t on the same frequency. I had to admit that 2,5 week after my crash, or more relevant after an infection, I wasn’t ready to put down a hard effort as xc racing requires. I didn’t expect a strong race from myself, but I didn’t expect my body to be so empty and exhausted either. When I was out there I just wanted to finish both races (xcc + xco), chasing the finish line and nothing else.

What I do have is races. So I think I will start with that, and try to use it as my rebuilding.

After the race in Les Gets I took some days off to recharge and reset. I have rarely been so tired as I was after Les Gets. It was a big mouthful for my system. When I made it back to my apartment midweek I felt the energy starting to flow in my body again. What a good feeling after 3 weeks of some kind of strange fatigue state. What was I supposed to build now?
Fitness? Confidence? Skills? Trust? Experience? Was I supposed to recreate what was lost?
My training was planned to build up towards a weekend with tougher trainings. When the challenging workouts came I was a bit concerned, but to my relief, it went fairly all right. What a relief.

Can I rebuild myself again? The season is lacking towards its finishing half. Do I have time?
What I do have is races. So I think I will start with that, and try to use it as my rebuilding. This week I’m heading to the Czech Republic for the European Championship followed by two rounds of the UCI World Cup.

Including team-relays and Short-track, it’s 6 starts over the next 3 weeks. I hope I can make it 3 steps on a staircase. Seeing Europeans as my first step - I wanna feel the energy flow in my muscles again and I wanna feel good on my bike in the technical features.

Now when I think about it am not sure if I like the term rebuild so much anymore actually. Why re- everything? Recharge, reset, rebuild... Why not just build something new? Re- means again. I don’t wanna do it again

But everything is temporary, so it shouldn’t be a problem

/Malene

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Danish National Championship 2019

6/18/2019

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Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

That was my mindset for the Danish National Championship 2019.

A strong mantra to your mind doesn't come out of nothing so let me take you three weeks back.

To be honest with you guys. Coming home from two so successful World Cup weeks wasn’t as glorious as it may sound. The three past weeks leading up to our nationals was actually far from what I excepted it would be.
The evening after my first world cup podium was spent with a good Danish crew on a small restaurant in Prag, followed by a single room airport hotel where I would be waiting for my flight to Copenhagen the next morning. The hotel room was cold and quiet. It was exactly the celebration I needed, as stupid as it sounds. But after 2 intense weeks with world cup racing and people around me all the time, it felt so good to sneak under the sheets, close my eyes and just go through the day in my own little bubble before I drift off to sleep.
The problem came when reality hit me Monday morning

and I hadn’t left the sleepy bubble yet.
Actually, it took me a whole week before I really left this strange state of mind. I told my coach that I didn’t want a strict plan for the week or any plan, just hours on the bike with my friends. So that was what I did. Anyway, it was actually with the local mtb club, my love for the sport started in the first place - so why don’t come back here from time to time?
I got kicked out (literally) of my bubble when I got my butt kicked in a c1 race in Denmark, the following Sunday. On Monday (now 2 weeks before nationals) I woke up with new motivation and I felt the fire to perform again. Sometimes failure is just what you need. The drive was back - so I gave ‘green light’ to the coach and he built up a two-week block of training. It looked hard, and it made me a little scared, but I ret somewhere that if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable you are in the right place.

I called it 'loosing focus', he said it was a sign of a healthy human.

And oh yes it made me feel uncomfortable. I went into every training with this drive, but I struggled. The intention was there, but I couldn’t really put it together. So I just went with the flow and let my ‘what I want’ rank higher than ‘what I should’.

So when the weekend of nationals was upon us, I wasn’t the most confident Malene around. I knew the past 3 weeks hadn’t been optimal performance-wise for this race, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t change it. I talked quite a bit about it with my boyfriend. He said it was a good thing that I was able to 'pull the plug' sometimes. I called it 'loosing focus', he said it was a sign of a healthy human. And that the ability to listen to the body and not push anything through just because you feel a ‘I have to’, is a good thing. We went on the track for practice, found the lines and tried to make me the fastest Malene possible.

When Sunday came I had my crew around me. Loic on track to encourage me and give me splits, mum in feed zone 1 and Theo (mechanic) in feed zone 2. I knew this was a big opportunity for me to win that red and white jersey. 2019 had so far been my strongest year, the track suited me well and the bike was working perfectly. Annika Langvad was unfortunately out with injury, so it was the battle of the young guns - Caroline Bohe and myself.

But that Sunday I could handle the pain, because I wanted to do something today that my future self would thank me for.

We started and I actually didn’t feel amazing. The past three weeks were stocked in my mind, but I wanted that win, so I knew that I would be able to suffer a lot today, I wanted that win so bad. When a gap opened up between Caroline and me, I just went as hard as I could. I attacked with 2,5 lap to go so the last half-hour was just one big suffer fest. But that Sunday I could handle the pain, because I wanted to do something today that my future self would thank me for.

As I’m writing this, I’m flying back to my apartment in the South and I’m looking much forward continue to build on this momentum. Focus is on building on my fitness and feel the confidence come back, towards World Cup no. 3. Let’s go!

I got asked quite a lot about what I’m thinking about the rest of the season, now when it all started so well. And for real... I just wanna take it one step at the time. Starting with designing a red and white kit :-) “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” (Martin Luther King Jr).

/Malene

p.s Thanks for all the support. You guys mean a lot.

P.s.s. Don’t take my sleepy bubble for something negative. I was (and am) really happy and proud of my results in the World Cup, but there are two things to it (I think); first of all, it feels strange when you achieve something you almost didn’t dare to dream of. Secondly, when people ask me if I aren’t just super happy now, yes I’m happy, but I’m not happier if I podium in a world cup than any other day - I want my basic happiness to be based on something else than something as unpredictable as bike-racing results :-) (Not to dismiss that success-feeling is absolutely amazing, no doubts)

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