Everything is temporary

​Time heals everything, they say.
Time heals hearts.
Time heals minds.
Time heals wounds.
​Bad times don’t last. 

Rebuild

​A synonym to heal is to rebuild. I’m not sure why, but I like that term more. There’s more positivity attached to the word rebuild. Building something sounds good. But what am I building? First I thought I was rebuilding my shape to compete in Les Gets. Then the week of Les Gets began and I wasn’t really ready to ‘compete’. I mean I was there. But actually competing? Not so much. 

​My mind was ready to go and I was full of fire, but it felt like my body and brain wasn’t on the same frequency. I had to admit that 2,5 week after my crash, or more relevant after an infection, I wasn’t ready to put down a hard effort as xc racing requires. I didn’t expect a strong race from myself, but I didn’t expect my body to be so empty and exhausted either. When I was out there I just wanted to finish both races (xcc + xco), chasing the finish line and nothing else. 

What I do have is races. So I think I will start with that, and try to use it as my rebuilding.

​After the race in Les Gets I took some days off to recharge and reset. I have rarely been so tired as  I was after Les Gets. It was a big mouthful for my system. When I made it back to my apartment midweek I felt the energy starting to flow in my body again. What a good feeling after 3 weeks of some kind of strange fatigue state. What was I supposed to build now?
Fitness? Confidence? Skills? Trust? Experience? Was I supposed to recreate what was lost? 
My training was planned to build up towards a weekend with tougher trainings. When the challenging workouts came I was a bit concerned, but to my relief, it went fairly all right. What a relief. 

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​Can I rebuild myself again? The season is lacking towards its finishing half. Do I have time? 
What I do have is races. So I think I will start with that, and try to use it as my rebuilding. This week I’m heading to the Czech Republic for the European Championship followed by two rounds of the UCI World Cup. 

Including team-relays and Short-track, it’s 6 starts over the next 3 weeks.  I hope I can make it 3 steps on a staircase. Seeing Europeans as my first step - I wanna feel the energy flow in my muscles again and I wanna feel good on my bike in the technical features. ​

​Now when I think about it am not sure if I like the term rebuild so much anymore actually. Why re- everything? Recharge, reset, rebuild... Why not just build something new? Re- means again. I don’t wanna do it again

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But everything is temporary, so it shouldn’t be a problem

​/Malene