​What now? 

I wanna breathe for a moment. You know that long exhale that empties the lungs fully from air. Air with frustration and a hint of relief. I have felt a bit captured in a strange state of my body most of the season. After exhaling I wanna inhale fresh air full of freedom and hope. Full of the excitement of what’s to come. 
But before the dreams of the future sets in it’s important, for me, to take a step back and check on myself before I just jump straight into a ‘new year - new me’ mode. It can be quite easy to hide emotions behind fancy Instagram filters. But feelings are here. I have tried to be honest and share my thoughts with you guys throughout my injury. Which I have received lots of positive response too. It feels good to be a part of what can make other people feel less alone. ​But no matter how much I wanna share, I also have a certain filter on myself. Which I think is completely okay. 

As much as I like to share, as much do I like to work on things for myself with myself. ​​And now I anyway sit here and write about it? 
What I wanted to say was actually just that as much as I’m setting goals, chasing dreams and in general living a ‘fast life’, I also sometimes gotta sit down and reflect a little. What good decisions did I make this season - and which ones were bad? Can I learn from it? I’m not a machine, just a human who tends to ride a bike fast. 
​A season with struggles definitely teach you some things. Fx who’s in your corner, even in the bad times. So to you - Thanks for keep on following my life and my writes, even when it’s not all glory and happy days - I love that I have made myself a follower group that cares and are interested in me as a human, not only as someone winning the bike-life. Thanks for being here :-) 

​What’s next? 

The plan is to get back to Denmark and reconnect with family and friends first of all. It can be hard to keep updated on my friend's lives when I’m on the road, so in the autumn I always look forward to reconnecting with them. My friends are the best tho. We can have minimum contact for months and then I see them and it feels like yesterday. 

Besides that, I will focus a bit on planing my Olympic dream. I will combine my trip to Denmark with some home races and then finish the month with a trip to Japan. Where I will go with a danish team to test out the Olympic track for 2020. 

​I think it’s the first time I write it down here. But my biggest goal of 2020 is qualifying for the Olympics. 

But as I said. It’s important for me to take one step at the time. First I reflect and then I can start chasing dreams. 

/Malene 

​I guess you’re always a little insecure before the world cup season starts, insecure about your level and state of mind. But when we came to the end of May and the wc season kicked off in Albstadt, I had built my confidence on my consistency throughout the winter/spring training and on my 2nd place in last year’s u23 wc overall. I knew I had what it takes to be a part of the top. But to do it? Oh, girl, that’s a different talk.

​So when I managed to perform at my very best in the two first races it felt unreal. Or at least it was a dream coming true. And another approval for myself; I got this. To come home with 10th and 5th place under the belt gave me a confidence boost and I used that energy to bring home the national title 3 weeks later. What a dream start to the 2019 season! Almost too good to be true, right? 

​And, oh yea, that was too good to be true, only one week after nationals I took a big hit on my left side, on a bike ride, which caused me a bad infection in a wound and left me struggling with my performance for the rest of the 2019 season. 

Being an athlete can be a rollercoaster-life and this was really a time where my carriages on the rail started to roll downwards. Back then I didn’t think my infection was so bad, actually nobody thought it was that bad, but in the end, it took me 8 weeks before I started to feel like myself again. Quite sometime when you are in the middle of a race season. 
I mean I finished 5th in Nove Mesto and the next World Cup I did I was 50th. Just a little difference… 

​Coming from such a high to such a low takes some mental stress too. What da heck is happening to me? I don’t think it's much fun to get smoked every weekend and fighting for finishing the race when I’m used to be one of the girls who are apart of creating the race. But there was not much to do. I had to just let time heal me. And eventually, it did. But that eventually could have shown up a little earlier. There is a style of being fashionably late to parties and I feel like my body did that to me, just for the race-party instead. Now the season is pretty much over and I’m finally feeling good. Not cool to be late for that party. 

​Cause yes I was there. To finish up my race season I did the World Championship and the last World Cup in Snowshoe. And honestly, I felt great out there. I’m might still a bit further back in the field, fighting around the 25-30th position, but I was competing. And it felt awesome. I had the energy to push and ride my bike good. Which was something I missed the weeks after the crash/injury.