To be resilient

Try to be resilient Malene. No, I have to be resilient.
Being resilient is defined by the ability withstand or recover quick from a difficult condition.
​Be resilient Malene.

When you see things in the greater perspective, then 10 days off-schedule doesn’t seem too bad. But when you are living in those 10 days it can be pretty bad. ​​

​10 days before World Cup number 3 took off was a recovery day for me. I came spinning down a gravel road, it was 35 degrees and I was a bit tired. Training had been going really well since our National Championship, so there was an earned tiredness in my body. In front of me, I saw someone was working in the field and there were cars moving around. I remember looking at them and the next thing I feel is just the ruthless gravel road against my skin.

I had hit a hole in the gravel road, in that 1 second, I was looking away. One-second of paying attention to something else and then boom. It took me a little while to get up and get myself together. All the worst fears were ruining through my mind at that moment - how hurt am I? It definitely hurts, but? It was bleeding a lot from my elbow and I removed a rock from it. That didn’t really stop the bleeding… so I called Loic and told him to find me. “I’m on the gravel road close to the city…” Good luck Loic. 
He found me, I got cleaned up and at the hospital, they stitched my elbow together. 

​Setbacks always give perspectives.

Recovery 

I'm 22 now and I still turn 12 when I have to call my mor (mom) and tell her that I'm hurt. Like when I talk with the doctor I can keep it cool; 'yea, bit painful, can't really move but it's okay'. Then I hear my mum's voice and I'm just cracking like, 'mooaaar it's horrible, I'm so not okay'. 
Wondering if I will ever grow too old for that, hah. 

Anyways. The skin missing wasn't really a 'big' deal, even tho it was a big area and it did bring pain, the skin repair itself quite fast (the human body is pretty amazing). 7 days after this picture was taken I only had some light pink marks left. (I kept it 'wet' the whole time under covers, and it worked super well). 
The elbow.. Was a bigger deal. An inflammation came doing the first 24 hours and I started on Antibiotics. It didn't evolve well, and I had no strength. So after 3 days, I got prescripted a new antibiotic with a bigger spectrum (=kills more enemies in the body). That was a game changer and my elbow started to get a normal colour, temperature and form. Halleluja. 

Getting back to training

After 5 days laying on the sofa, it was time to feel the body on the bike again. I wasn't sick anymore - I don't know why but while my body was working on the infection it made me feel sick, so I stayed on that sofa, hah, maybe it knows me? 
The short spin was so unpleasant. I had looked much forward for this moment and then it turned out to be so disappointing. Crap. 
I called my team-manager and told him about my sensations on the bike. He gave me the idea to check the hr every morning to follow the response of my road back to training. 
After a few days of short rides, my body started to feel normal again. 

What a good feeling. Setbacks always give perspectives. 
8 days post crashing, the only thing that hold me back and still does is the weakness of my elbow. Training on the tarmac is not a problem, but a little speed bump or something alike feel like a shock in the elbow. 

The antibiotic definitely has an impact on my body and I am really cautious about everything I am doing. My training load, recovery, mood, food, hydration and so on. Trying to be honest with myself. How are you today Malene? 
If I want to be resilient in this situation, I have to roll back the super-hero-I-can-do-everything feeling, I think. 

Decision making

I do have that feeling, if you wonder. It's my 'I'm-a-strong-iiindeeeepeeendent-woman' feeling, haha. It comes in handy most of the time, but I can also shoot myself in the foot at times. So Malene, take it easy. 
Easy to say - hard to do.

When I first crashed I didn't even think about missing the WC. I was just focused on healing as fast as possible. 
But as the days went by I had to admit that I couldn't possible ride a World Cup when I couldn't even ride on tarmac without a lot of caution and pain. ​

One thing is to call the team and tell it. But another thing is to say it out loud and admit to yourself. 

It might sound silly, but it's a little heartbreaking. I was so excited to ride in the colour of the danish flag on the awesome track in Andorra. 
Not this year anyway.

​Health over any race, always. 

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Moving forward

With the antibiotic 10-day cure coming to an end my body is feeling stronger and more capable of doing what I could prior the crash. ​​
So with all the small positive notes and progresses I am looking forward to travel to Les Gets for next weekend. I really hope I will be ready for it. At least I'm doing my best at staying calm, train smart and being resilient. 

If I want to be resilient in this situation, I have to roll back the super-hero-I-can-do-everything feeling, I think. ​

/Malene 

Thanks for reading and supporting me, even in the bad times. 

P.s my Boyfriend Loic just won the DH world cup in Andorra today. This made my weekend, just wow.