​The race I talk about was the test event for the Olympic games in 2020. Almost every discipline competing at the Olympics has some kind of test event the year before the event, to yea test it… So off we went to Japan! And what a place. 
With the long season including a lot of travelling around, I hadn’t spent too much time thinking about this trip. Nevertheless, it was a key point on the road to my Olympic dream.
​Before I went there I made a list of questions, that I had to answer doing the week. How was the place? What was the travel like? Key things to remember etc. ​

And then, of course, the track, lines, training area, warm-up area and so on. Honestly just a lot of things that would make my life easier and more prepared, if I go next year. 
​​I didn’t know what to expect from this place or the course. So it was with an open mind I went there. We arrived in a small traditional house on the mountainside where we would spend the week. It was quite fun to experience their culture and differences. Like no beds, just small madrasas on the floor, I slept well the whole week tho, hehe! 

​We started the preparation with a track-walk. A track walk is exactly that, we walk the track. When you walk you can see more things than when you ride, so because it was the first time we saw this track it was great to walk it first. Our first impression from the new track was like holy moly that’s something! There was so much to remember on that 4 km; with off-camber corners, rock gardens, steep climbs and so on. But when we took the bikes with us the next day it felt really awesome to ride. Super flowy, demanding and fun! 

​I was stoked to race it the upcoming Sunday, but my race became such a strange day. Because of the chain problem I ended up racing by myself half a lap behind the rest. On my second lap I started to catch some riders, but most of the time I was riding on my own. But I thought that I still could get some great data and impression of the track if I just continued racing the best I could. And with the circumstances, I was proud of what I did. I pushed with what I had in me and I did feel great out there. The course suits me well and now I know which parts of the track I struggled more on and which parts I felt flawless on :-P I think the last 30 minutes tells a lot. 

​Now I’m back in Denmark, but only for a short transit before I’m off for the Roc d'Azur in France for the weekend. When that is done my calendar starts to have a lot of empty days and I’m super excited to get back to Spain and start with the early build-up towards the winter training. I also have a holiday to look forward to. 

The trip to Japan felt like a success, even tho faith didn’t let me finish on a good result, I’m home with a smile on my face and a big dream shaping inside of me. Hopefully, my 19’ season has given me enough hard times, so I will start next year as a tougher and better athlete.  
No rain. No Flowers

​/Malene

​What now? 

I wanna breathe for a moment. You know that long exhale that empties the lungs fully from air. Air with frustration and a hint of relief. I have felt a bit captured in a strange state of my body most of the season. After exhaling I wanna inhale fresh air full of freedom and hope. Full of the excitement of what’s to come. 
But before the dreams of the future sets in it’s important, for me, to take a step back and check on myself before I just jump straight into a ‘new year - new me’ mode. It can be quite easy to hide emotions behind fancy Instagram filters. But feelings are here. I have tried to be honest and share my thoughts with you guys throughout my injury. Which I have received lots of positive response too. It feels good to be a part of what can make other people feel less alone. ​But no matter how much I wanna share, I also have a certain filter on myself. Which I think is completely okay. 

As much as I like to share, as much do I like to work on things for myself with myself. ​​And now I anyway sit here and write about it? 
What I wanted to say was actually just that as much as I’m setting goals, chasing dreams and in general living a ‘fast life’, I also sometimes gotta sit down and reflect a little. What good decisions did I make this season - and which ones were bad? Can I learn from it? I’m not a machine, just a human who tends to ride a bike fast. 
​A season with struggles definitely teach you some things. Fx who’s in your corner, even in the bad times. So to you - Thanks for keep on following my life and my writes, even when it’s not all glory and happy days - I love that I have made myself a follower group that cares and are interested in me as a human, not only as someone winning the bike-life. Thanks for being here :-) 

​What’s next? 

The plan is to get back to Denmark and reconnect with family and friends first of all. It can be hard to keep updated on my friend's lives when I’m on the road, so in the autumn I always look forward to reconnecting with them. My friends are the best tho. We can have minimum contact for months and then I see them and it feels like yesterday. 

Besides that, I will focus a bit on planing my Olympic dream. I will combine my trip to Denmark with some home races and then finish the month with a trip to Japan. Where I will go with a danish team to test out the Olympic track for 2020. 

​I think it’s the first time I write it down here. But my biggest goal of 2020 is qualifying for the Olympics. 

But as I said. It’s important for me to take one step at the time. First I reflect and then I can start chasing dreams. 

/Malene 

​A synonym to heal is to rebuild. I’m not sure why, but I like that term more. There’s more positivity attached to the word rebuild. Building something sounds good. But what am I building? First I thought I was rebuilding my shape to compete in Les Gets. Then the week of Les Gets began and I wasn’t really ready to ‘compete’. I mean I was there. But actually competing? Not so much. 

​My mind was ready to go and I was full of fire, but it felt like my body and brain wasn’t on the same frequency. I had to admit that 2,5 week after my crash, or more relevant after an infection, I wasn’t ready to put down a hard effort as xc racing requires. I didn’t expect a strong race from myself, but I didn’t expect my body to be so empty and exhausted either. When I was out there I just wanted to finish both races (xcc + xco), chasing the finish line and nothing else. 

​After the race in Les Gets I took some days off to recharge and reset. I have rarely been so tired as  I was after Les Gets. It was a big mouthful for my system. When I made it back to my apartment midweek I felt the energy starting to flow in my body again. What a good feeling after 3 weeks of some kind of strange fatigue state. What was I supposed to build now?
Fitness? Confidence? Skills? Trust? Experience? Was I supposed to recreate what was lost? 
My training was planned to build up towards a weekend with tougher trainings. When the challenging workouts came I was a bit concerned, but to my relief, it went fairly all right. What a relief. 

​Can I rebuild myself again? The season is lacking towards its finishing half. Do I have time? 
What I do have is races. So I think I will start with that, and try to use it as my rebuilding. This week I’m heading to the Czech Republic for the European Championship followed by two rounds of the UCI World Cup. 

Including team-relays and Short-track, it’s 6 starts over the next 3 weeks.  I hope I can make it 3 steps on a staircase. Seeing Europeans as my first step - I wanna feel the energy flow in my muscles again and I wanna feel good on my bike in the technical features. ​