maybe it's something you choose

I found myself in a downward dog, staring at the chipped nail polish on my toes, and it hit me. Do we spend so much time thinking about the future that we forget how to just breathe in the present?

As someone who has always had a career goal to chase, motherhood has taught me the exact opposite. There is no countdown to a specific day, no targets to reach. Instead, every single day is important in some quiet way or form.

Towards the end of the class the yoga teacher had us belly-breathing - inhale the good things and exhale the bad. To feel our bodies in that very moment.
​The thought kept ruminating in my mind for the rest of the day. Truly being present? It takes practice.

And honestly, I need the practice. Lately, the digital world has shifted, I feel, and I want to be more deliberate about how I show up in it. I want to make better choices, take photos like I love to do, create content with them, but then also be able to log off (mentally and physically). 

I’ve always cared deeply for my body; for a long time, taking care of it was my job. But when you have a baby, your own needs are suddenly pushed to the second row. 
​That’s why I’ve decided to commit to a little bit of yoga or Pilates every day, and to get back out on my bike more.

For me, riding has always been the ultimate act of presence. Especially on a mountain bike—where if you aren’t entirely focused on the root, the rock, or the trail right in front of you, you’re in trouble. Mountain biking as a form of meditation? Count me in.

As I rolled up my yoga mat, I realized that maybe presence isn't something you attain. Maybe it’s just something you choose.
Perhaps the secret to moving forward isn't about perfectly balancing it all. Maybe it’s just about putting your hands on the handlebars, and letting the moment lead the way.