It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar territory, not because I’m incapable

I couldn’t fall asleep for two nights, and the hotel breakfast on Saturday morning suddenly seemed unappealing. Friday afternoon, I drove 4 hours to a place called Ulricehamn in the southern part of Sweden. I was at the seemingly unappealing breakfast buffet because I had signed up for the Danish/Greenlandic national Championship in cross-country skiing. More precisely, the long-distance freestyle competition which took place Sunday morning. And I’m a total beginner. 

It all started 4 weeks ago, when a Nordic skier from Denmark, who also happens to ride mountain bikes, saw that I posted on my social media, how I had found a new fun way of training - xc skiing! He send me the information about the National Championship and told me to check it out if that could be something. I straight away called my family and asked if they would be keen on a family weekend trip to Sweden in a few week's time. 

To participate in a sport where I had no experience whatsoever seemed thrilling. And I had promised myself that in 2025 I wanted to challenge myself in racing. Try out new things and new events. So, this challenge aligned with my goals. The only problem was that I had no equipment in Denmark and I wasn’t actually good at this sport. My fitness would carry me through - not my technique, thatwas my game plan. 

The days leading up to the race I was filled with doubts. I was so surprised about my reaction - I have pinned a number on for the past, what, 15 years, and THIS made me restless?
But there was something about the unknown that scared me. When I finally got my skies, poles, my start number, chip, and tried out the course and conditions I felt such a relief. Okay, I was going to be alight. 33 kilometre of skate skiing in the Swedish snow would be manageable. On race morning I wasn’t nervous anymore, now it was just about finding the flow and having fun. And that was exactly what I did. Well within my limits, hah. 
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Flow is maybe not the right word, think flow as in a state of mind, not flow as flowing well on the snow. Technique is quite something in this sport, and I haven’t mastered it - yet. So, my strong cycling muscles carried me through to 4th place overall and 2nd in my age group. I also didn’t know how to fuel while being stuck to two sticks, so I just ran 1 hour 51 minutes without any fuel at all. As a reference, I take one gel every 20 minutes in a MTB race + carbs in my bottle. I crossed the line empty. I hadn’t been able to use my full physical capacity because every time I tried to go faster I lost my balance on the thin skies, but I had tried so hard for almost two hours. 
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I learned two things: “It feels scary because it’s unfamiliar, not because I’m incapable.” (Michell C Clark), and that “yet” is a word I need to use more. I haven’t *** yet. I don’t know *** yet. 

So many opportunities, so many adventures ahead. January has treated me well, and in 2025 I wanted to challenge myself and try new things. We’re off to a good start. 

/Malene